Before I get into any sort of review of The Conjuring 2 I’d like to take some time to discuss the state of movie going today. It seems every other theater I go to has some sort of sound problems. I’m not kidding when I say I could barely hear the dialogue in this film thanks to the shitty screen I saw it on at TYSONS Corner. What the fuck is this shit? I even kindly asked the usher standing outside during the trailers to turn it up cause I couldn’t hear anything, the volume was far too low. “It’ll get louder when the movie starts” he replied almost condescendingly. It didn’t. It fucking didn’t.

This pisses me off not only because I can’t hear the movie as well, but now I’m ever more aware of the fucking annoying people around me. “Yes, YES!” one older fellow behind me grunted outloud every single time a scary moment was happening as though he was on the cusp of ejaculating at the supernatural jump scares. At no point was the area below me dark, as it was always lit by at least one person’s cell phone. THREE different phones went off, and they were not quick to be turned off. They never are. The there were the obnoxious teens next to me and the man who rose from his LOUD CREAKY CHAIR every five fucking minutes, and people leaving the theater in and out constantly, making as much noise as they could as if to say HEY SEE ME IM TAKING A QUICK BREATHER FROM THIS FILM. SAY, WHY DONT YOU JOIN ME OUTSIDE FOR A SMOKE? NO? OKAY LET ME TRAMPLE THE STAIRS WITH THE WEIGHT OF A THOUSAND OBESE HIPPOS SO YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. K. And then there was the family who brought their kid

Fortunately the kid was around 4 or so and only made noises a little bit.

Now, do you see why sound is so important? Good surround sound blocks out 90% of this shit so the people that are there to see the movie, LIKE WE PAID FOR, can escape and have a good time.

I saw the first Conjuring at a theater that blasted the sound till our seats shook. The theater was packed, 200 or more people just like tonight except they were silent. No phones, no kids, everyone was honed in on that film. They screamed and never made annoying commentary, it was a perfect movie going experience. One of the best horrors films probably ever made and I was lucky enough to experience it with an audience who thought likewise. But not here.

The Conjuring 2 is an okay follow-up, it has its moments, but not enough to come close to the original. Not with that shitty theater and audience anyway. This one seemed a bit forced, but they did try and make a more personal story between Ed and Lorraine. It’s a little slow, some of the scares don’t work as well. There’s one really good scene between ED and the girl (the best scene). The crooked man is unnecessary, although a few scary moments are earned by him. The ending is a bit lame, since there’s no reason for what happens to happen. Far too convenient.

I’ve come to realize a movie experience can be tainted by so many things , technical as well as personal. Sometimes I wonder if someone hated a movie I loved because they simply had a bad movie going experience and it really had nothing to do with the film itself. Maybe I’ve been too harsh on films because my experience was tainted by things that the filmmakers had no control over. It’s something to think about.

All my life I have defended the way of going to see EVERY single movie on the big screen, the best way to experience it, it’s fucking magic. Even as all my friends have told me they prefer seeing films at home or at a theater that’s deserted. The old me would say, I always want the theater packed, I ALWAYS loved going with hundreds of strangers to collectively enjoy something together. I don’t know if I can say that anymore. Not if experiences like tonight continue. It seems I want the good movies to end sooner so I can escape these assholes that surround me before they ruin the experience, and I never want good movies to end.

Maybe this is some major change in my life, discovering that people often fail you, even in situations they really should never. Did you really pay 12 bucks to make noises and walk around and be disrespectful to hundreds of people rather than stay home where you can be as loud as you want? I’ve had plenty of bad experiences before, every movie goer has, but I’m just tired. Tired and disappointed in people’s inability to respect the silver screen. Man, I’ve actually had way worse experiences from tonight but just the way it happened, just for a horror film, it doesn’t even make sense to me.

I’ll be making an effort to see later showtimes, or much earlier to avoid crowds such as these. And I’ll probably never be returning to TYSONS since this was the third or fourth movie I’ve seen there where they refused to put the volume at a reasonable level.

I apologize for any syntax errors, I’ve just quickly mashed a this out on my phone after leaving the theater. Id write more about the movie itself, but I’m just so angry. Too angry to depict coherent thought. Fucking 2016