Written and directed by Lulu Wang

Starring Awkwafina, Tzi Ma, Diana Lin, Zhao Shuzhen

The Farewell is a good movie about a family who decides to spare their grandmother the news that she will die in 3 months from lung cancer. “A good lie” as many Chinese people see it, as is their tradition not to let a dying person know their fate. “In China there is a saying: people get cancer, they die. But the disease doesn’t kill them, the fear does”, Billi’s mom tells her to solidify the family’s decision. Billi lives in New York, and is the American perspective against her native Chinese family. There is a lot about the differences between cultures in the East and West. In America, it would be illegal to not inform someone of their condition. In China, it is common to omit this. Billi’s uncle explains that a person’s life is not their own, but more of part of the family. They must carry the burden of grief so that their Nai Nai doesn’t have to.

The film opens on a blurred focus shot of a painting on a wall. Nai Nai (Billie’s grandmother) walks onscreen in focus, she’s on the phone with Billi who is in New York. Nai Nai asks if she’s wearing a hat, Billi (who obviously isn’t) lies and tell her she is. She knows her grandmother would worry otherwise, since she goes on about how she heard people in New York steal earrings. It’s a quick conversation, but is important in showing how common these little “lies” are in Chinese culture. The movie is constant in how all these family members tell each other not to say anything about certain things in their lives for fear of what others may think. A big, yet quietly spoken, dinner scene later has the family divided on which place is better to live, America or China? One of their cousins criticizes America endlessly, but another reveals she is still sending her young son there for college. There’s hypocrisy in keeping up appearances. But back to the beginning.

The painting is on a wall in a hospital. Nai Nai is there with her sister, who discovers from the doctor that Nai Nai has late stage lung cancer, and is given 3 months or less to live. She tells none of this to Nai Nai. Says her recent cough is chalked up to benign shadows. What’s that? Nai Nai asks, incredulously. Just something the doctor said, her sis replies.

Billi finds out a little later from her parents, who she has to directly ask what’s going on. Had she not, they would never have told her. They know she is the emotional one with American tendencies and would reveal the diagnosis, maybe not even intentionally. Billi thinks this is all wrong, how could they not tell her she’s dying? That is the way in China.

The film’s portrayal and conversations about how two radically opposing cultures deal with grief is pretty eye opening. Movies like this are important, if not only to expose us to how others deal with things we’re not even sure if we deal with right. Even the asian doctor plays alongside the family in continuing the lie to Nai Nai right in front of them. Good arguments are brought up for both cultures, and by the end we’re not sure if lying isn’t the best choice. 

The movie was written and directed by LuLu Wang, who based it off her own family and experiences. The piano, the fake wedding as an excuse to bring the whole family together to spend time with Nai Nai, this was Lulu’s life. I think it’s interesting that most of the movie is in Mandarin, even though our protagonist is American. It’s very telling on which side of the debate Lulu is on, and why the movie ends where it does. I had hoped for a bit more in The Farewell, because as it did drag near its ending, I was prepared for a whole nother segment in their lives. Perhaps I was invested enough to care to want to see more. But the abrupt non conclusive ending is about where I expected it to go. And since I wish for more time in this story, that must mean Lulu is a compelling storyteller. I had never heard of her before, but I will look forward to her work from now on. 

And Awkwafina. Who was the goofy loud friend in Crazy Rich Asians, now is making moves here in small indies like this. She is hypnotic, and her boyish mannerisms play perfectly into Billi. Even the name Billi is perfect for her. She’s always seemed like a tomboy, and her outfits are loose and cool. She dresses like she cares more about comfort than appearance, which makes her stick out like a sore thumb while she is in China. Crazy Rich Asians was okay, and ultimately ended up being a disappointment. But I’m glad it exists if it could at least give Awkwafina the chance to show her dramatic range here.